It began with my writing my first autobiography. My “Walk With Dann Collection“. The four volume account of my life of trials and tribulations.
“Damaged” was the first book I wrote and published. It covers the first part of my life from birth till my early twenties.
I published it without reading it or correcting any of the errors within. My justification for this is that period of my life was not scripted or corrected.
“Damaged” is raw and bluntly real. Such as my life during that time frame was.
It was followed by the three consecutive volumes, “Bane” , “Boon” and “Unkz, A Canadian Cosmonaut”.
As you will see upon reading them, you will see how greatly my writing improved. As well as my story lines also.
At the time I wrote my “Walk With Dann Collection” I was not supposed to survive my cancer for very long.
“Unkz” was supposed to be the last chapter of my life. Then I began my battle with late stage four Squamous Cell Carcinoma. Much too late for conventional treatment. Too late for treatment other than “salvage” surgery. I absolutely refused to allow them to cut me up and reduce my quality of life.
Long story short, I outlived my autobiography.
I had to write a seperate book giving the account of the fifteen month battle with my Squamous Cell Carcinoma. “Old Man With The ‘C’ – A Cancerous Walk With Dann”.
I did not include this as part of the previous autobiography. Reason being that all of the doctors had been saying that I was a dead man walking. I had them baffled by surviving all I had during those long fifteen months. I looked at the cancer as a new lease on life.
Therefore, “Old Man With The C” would become volume one of the second life of a man who has lived many lives.
Will I author another autobiography? I think not. I think I will just write what my heart guides me to. Like I am doing as we speak.
I have listened to these doctors since October 2018. They keep telling me that I am going to die within weeks.
They have been saying this for about sixty-six weeks now. I have just cause to believe that they may be wrong.
Enough of talk concerning that matter. What I really need and want to know is who I am.
Who is the real “Dann”?
Do I know who I am?
Am I changed for the good as I pray and hope to be?
Have I been paying my penance like I hoped to be?
These are the thoughts that are constantly bouncing about in my mind.
Taunting me. Hoping to lower my inner strength.
Which would assist in them in invading my body through it’s weakest point.
What I have been through these past few years is unbelievable.
Most do not believe until they see the actual proof. That’s one of the reasons I was posting videos from my private room while I was in Princess Margaret Cancer Centre.
I am lost in the tragedy of my life. Yet, I am not lost with life. The constant worry about the cancer is slowly dissipating into the fog of age. It being set aside so as I may deal with my body swelling from my now malfunctioning heart . (I have congested heart disease on top of everything else going on.)
I am scared. I finally said it.
I am not afraid of Dying.
I am afraid of what will happen to Jennifer and Dakota if I were to ascend. I know their lives will go on no matter what. But, I know they will have difficulties. I do not wish that on anyone.
In life I did whatever I could to make their lives as proper as possible.
I must formulate a plan to assure that in Death they will still have security and assistance from me. Somehow. Some way.
I never have listened to these doctors when it comes to them dictating how long I may or may not have left on Earth. I will not conform to their negativity.
I have published the biography of my Son’s, “Delaney ‘Jordan’ McLean Verner, short 29 year old life which ended by him hanging himself on Christmas Morning 2019 in some obscured town named “Black Diamond, Alberta.“
It tells the story of how he fell victim to the broken systems we call our Child Welfare System. How what began as concerned parents looking for some assistance with their genius child but concluded with him living a life of being tested, shuttled from facility to facility. How our asking for assistance destroyed his childhood and tore our family apart.
https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B08FNMPGG6
Comments
Post a Comment
Your opinion means much to me - we all have one, so, please, leave a comment....Namaste'