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Showing posts from January, 2020

Final Preparations For Jordan’s Celebration of Life

Final Preparations For Jordan’s Celebration of Life February the first is just about here. A day I dread.   The day my wife, Jennifer, my oldest son, Randy, my youngest son, Dakota must say our farewell   to our son and their brother. For those who have asked, here are the details and location of the Service and Reception. Saturday, February 1, 2020 at 4 PM – 7 PM at the Canadian Legion Hall Number 73, 2 Robinson Avenue, Toronto,  (Danforth Avenue and Danforth Road) Anxiety is high for the family. I am worried for my wife. She has been staying strong as she can. Yet, I know how she feels inside. I know she is hiding ninety-nine percent of her pain. She is brave that way. Forget not that she is also watching me slowly deteriorate. Everyday wondering if this is the day Dann passes from his cancer? A father’s love is like no other, also, A strong genetic companionship of the Alpha and his Beta’s. ` Daddy Know`s Best ` so follow your Father and learn to be a good man. A Mother’s

Are my days getting easier? I fear not - my emotions are scrambled.

Are my days getting easier? I fear not - my emotions are scrambled. For the last three days I have been detached from myself - outside looking in. Surreal as surreal may be. I cannot believe I have outlived my child - not the way it is meant to happen. I love Jordan and I will always be thinking of you - every second of every day - I always have since you were born. That will never change. I truly believe that I am being punished for my past actions by having to outlive all who I hold dearest in my heart and life. It is not easy to wake each day and face the reality that you have lost count around 123 family or loved ones that have passed during the past five years. That is 24 or so heartbreaking deaths I have experienced just the past five years. Can you imagine how many I have buried in my lifetime? It haunts me - for I deserve the Penance of the Creator and the Karma of my fate. I chose many a bad road in my lifetime. I am t