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I AM TIRED ........ SO VERY TIRED

I AM TIRED. ....VERY TIRED ​As I sit here fighting this demon at three o'clock in the morning,  I am totally ashamed and disgusted with myself for what I have done to my life and the affect it has upon my child. I cannot recall one minute of my past existence that can compare to the disaster which I now am living. I am lost. I am broken.  I am repairable and I know which path I should be walking on, but I cannot repair myself.  Deep down inside I am struggling with a very dark entity and I am riddled with guilt,  shame, weakness and dangerous emotions. I know I am mentally  stronger than most people.  I know that all things must pass I know I will never take the cowards way out of this sorrow.  I know that I am truly loved by many, many beautiful souls, for it is their love and friendship that fuels my fighter and  logical self. BUT ...... I must confess that I am weak -  I am so very tired.   I fear I have not the ps...