Opinions and Thoughts of LightHouse Dann Verner - Just as he is!

  Thanks to ‘ Global Warming ’ the extreme cold of the Winter season begins later and later each new year. Which suits me just fine, as that means that the worst chapter of the coldest season will also be delayed. My Nipples appreciate the tardiness, for this chapter brings us the dreadful  “Irritated Nipple Syndrome”. And it is a painful and torturous experience to say the least. Let me enlighten those of you who have no idea what  ‘INS’  is and how annoyingly discomforting the symptoms are. “Irritated Nipple Syndrome”  or  “INS” , for short, is believed to have started in the late  1950 ’s   with the invention of polyester . Prior to its invention, we wore high quality, usually hand-made,  “woollen clothing”. “Our nipples were kept warm and protected under the cover of very itchy, but super sufficient wool sweaters. Nipples were happy little buds. Soft and subtle little ‘pleasure buds   of joy’. As you more than likely already know, ev...

  Every Fall  I post this, as here in Canada,  “Irritated Nipple Syndrome” is a cold and stark reality. ‘ INS ‘ is mostly caused by our fiercely harsh Canadian Northern winds and their partnership with our lust for the purchase of cheap polyester t-shirts.  Personally I have been plagued with this horrifying disease for nigh on 68 years now! “ Fall ” has arrived. Bringing with it those damn frigid breezes! Unfortunately, I am once again plagued with the affliction horribles of ‘ INS ‘. So, I am re-publishing a blog I wrote in November 2007. (That was also when I set my shame aside and came out of the ‘Irritated Nipple Syndrome’ closet.) HERE IS MY ORIGINAL PUBLICATION …. My contorted malformed outlook towards this self labeled existence known as “ humanity ” reveals that “ Atomic Mother Earth ” has had one of her seasonal menopausal temperature episodes, “A COLD FLASH “. Many of you are dancing in cohesion to her moods and wants. Edging her on! If memory does no...

  With Winter Comes The Dreaded ‘I.N.S.’ (I first blogged regarding this in October 2012.) “Irritated Nipple Syndrome  – INS” (An aggravating Canadian affliction.) I.N.S. is commonly caused by our brisk Canadian winter air causing said nipples to rub themselves raw against cheap polyester Dollarama knock-off T-shirts. Laugh not!!!   (This struggle is as real as hemroids on a mongoose’s butt!) It can be crippling! Debilitating even! Not to mention, extremely embarrassing in certain situations. For the sake of our Canadian reputation everywhere, please, I beg of you, donate your existing polyester T’s to your favourite Trump supporter. Then, immediately equip yourself with high quality Walmart cotton blended T’s. ( Remember that at Walmart they are cheaper by the dozen.) Your nipples and your puppy will do a happy dance in appreciation! DO IT FOR OUR FLAG! DO IT FOR YOUR FELLOW COUNTRYMEN!!!

I post this every Fall or in this case winter as here in Canada Irated Nipple Syndrome is a reality. Mostly caused by our Northern winds and our lust for cheap polyester t-shirts.  I have been plagued with this horrifying disease for nigh on 61 years now. As fall has arrived I am once again plagued with the horrible INS, so, I am re-publishing a blog I wrote in November 2007 It seems to my contorted malformed outlook towards this self labeled existence your homo sapient species declare as humanity that as  “Atomic Mother Earth”  has another one of her annual menopausal temperature episodes, you are dancing in cohesion to her moods and wants. If my memory does not fail me, then, I recall that not just twenty-four hours ago I was strolling the Danforth in a T-shirt and blue jeans. I recall my endocentric annoyance at the sweat gathering in the furrow of my brow as I glinted from the warm brightness of the summer comparable sunlight. Yet, on this bright Thursday ...