Opinions and Thoughts of LightHouse Dann Verner - Just as he is!

Everyday I try to convince myself to stay positive.   Everyday. Everyday I struggle with the meaning of MY existence on this beautiful planet.   Everyday life kicks me in my testicles. Relentlessly, cruelly, constantly and all hope dwindles.  I cannot comprehend how much penance YOUR “God” demands from me.  Yes, I did many a wrong.  Yes, I broke nine of Catholicism’s Ten Commandments.   (I can go to my Hell knowing that I NEVER committed “Adultery”.)  So, at least I have that. I am in such a dire place.  The end of every month I gaze at my cheque and try to construct someway to pay the deposit of the first and last month’s rent as required in Ontario to obtain a place. I, also, have to pay for lodging at whomever has reached out to help me until I can get my own place.   I,  also, must feed my Son, my dogs and I eat once every day or two – mostly every second day.  I don’t drink or even smoke weed anymore...

I wrote a few times regarding my first twelve years.  My most recent being "I CRY AT NIGHT". https://lighthousedannverner.wordpress.com7/05/18/i-cry-at-night/ Although much of my earliest memories are blurred under the blanket that protects us from the emotional scars left behind by physical or psychological trauma,  I have managed to convey my experiences as best as recollection allows.  There where many memories I withheld  due to what their re-hashing may have brought forth.  But, that was "Dann" or "Boo Boo" as you surely understand.  I have decided to allow you to understand a synopsis of my "Shakie" years.   "Judge not lest we be judged". I have confessed my discretions and transgressions to my Gods and I pay my penance to this very day.  "By 1969, at the age of twelve, I had decided family life was not my cup of tea. Glue sniffing,  heroin and every other drug were fun. So were guns and violence." So...