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Are my days getting easier? I fear not - my emotions are scrambled.

Are my days getting easier? I fear not - my emotions are scrambled.

For the last three days I have been detached from myself - outside looking in. Surreal as surreal may be.

I cannot believe I have outlived my child - not the way it is meant to happen.

I love Jordan and I will always be thinking of you - every second of every day - I always have since you were born. That will never change.

I truly believe that I am being punished for my past actions by having to outlive all who I hold dearest in my heart and life.

It is not easy to wake each day and face the reality that you have lost count around 123 family or loved ones that have passed during the past five years.

That is 24 or so heartbreaking deaths I have experienced just the past five years. Can you imagine how many I have buried in my lifetime?

It haunts me - for I deserve the Penance of the Creator and the Karma of my fate. I chose many a bad road in my lifetime.

I am tired my Lord - "Hineni" - "I am ready my Lord"








#LightHouseDann #LightHouseDannVerner #LightHouseVerner #SuicideIsNotPainless #SuicidePrevention

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