Christmas Morning Will Be 4 Years Since Suicide Stole You From Me, Son

 

Delaney Jordan McLean Verner September 11, 1990 – December 25, 2019

The memories bring back you. If only for a short while.

Christmas morning it will be 4 years since suicide stole you from me.

I have so many regrets and ‘what ifs’. "What if I was not in Princess Margaret fighting the cancer, what if I hadn’t hung up the phone. What if, what if."

I cry every night. Every single night. I talk to your picture. I talk to you about the good times.

I cry over the bad times.

Your suicide killed a piece of each and every one of us Jordan.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

I will set your plate on Christmas day and I know you will be with us.

I feel your presence always.

I told your story as I promised.

It was the hardest thing I have ever done. 

Each and every word came with a thousand tears. Every paragraph came with a thousand memories.

I hope that your biography will help prevent another family from feeling the pain that rages through my very soul.

I will cry Son. 

And then I will cry some more. 

I will not wipe these tears away. 

They are here to forever stay. They roll down my face and gather in a pool of heartache upon my chest.

There is no way they will will ever cease. They will continue until we meet in our Valhalla.

Delaney ‘Jordan’ McLean Verner
September 11th, 1990 – December 25th, 2019