My Name Is ‘Dann’ and I Am A Stubborn Idiot

Do these mean that I am on a ‘staple’ diet?

12 days since my emergency cauda equina spinal cord surgery.

I am so Blessed that the surgery was successful. I only had a 20 percent chance of success.

I give thanks everyday for being able to feel this excruciating pain. I can only imagine how I would be feeling if not for the 12 Oxycocet, 2200 milligrams of various Morphine sulphates and other pain medications I take daily. Plus my ‘breakthrough‘ pain medications that I take every hour.

22 staples  – about 11 inches long  – from my tailbone to halfway up my back. 7 fractured vertebra repaired.

Healing great on the exterior. 

Get the staples removed on the 20th. Be so great to have a shower!

It’s at that darn itchy stage – so hard not to scratch it.

I am having a difficult time obeying the doctors and Dakota.

I am not the type of person who can just sit and chill.

Usually, I am pitter pattering around the place, arguing with my invisible friend, walking or playing with my girls,  writing a book or blog, building a trans-dimensional portal, cooking or seeing how many coffees one person can drink in a day.

BUT …..

I know just because the incision has healed doesn’t mean that the 7 vertebrae have. They will take 3 months to a year to heal – maybe even longer with my severe osteoporosis.

I tested myself yesterday by disobeying the surgeon’s instructions and trying to walk when I am supposed to be laying flat on my back for six weeks. Only getting up to use the washroom or make a coffee.

Being a complete idiot and using my cane, instead of the walker, I lied to Dakota, (and myself), and I walked the kilometer up to the Danforth and back.

It took me over an hour to walk what is normally a 15 minute walk.

Not ashamed to admit that I was crying with every step. 

A couple of people came to me asking if I needed assistance because they saw the tears running down my face.

Being even a bigger idiot by going into Shopper’s and buying a bag of groceries. (The surgeons made it very clear that under no circumstances should I lift anything heavier than 5 pounds.)

I was crying big boy tears all the way to the Danforth and even more all the way home.

Dakota was upset with me. Dakota never gets upset.

(I felt like a puppy who got caught chewing shoes. Lol)

I AM DAMN LUCKY I DIDN’T WAKE UP A PARAPLEGIC TODAY.

So, end of this Sunday morning sermon is  ….

I VOW TO FOLLOW THE PROPER POST-OPERATIVE INSTRUCTIONS AND TO NOT CHANCE WALKING UNTIL I AM TOLD TO.

I understand that,  as the doctors have told me,  I will be laid up till Easter.

I have to stop sitting up so much.

I must stop trying to walk!

FOR THE NEXT 5 WEEKS I ABSOLUTELY MUST STOP TRYING TO WALK AND ONLY GET UP TO GO TO THE WASHROOM OR KITCHEN.

After the end of January I will be having the physiotherapist coming every day to show me the proper exercises and routines so as I can walk properly by April or May.

I took an awful stupid chance yesterday and very easily could have done irreparable damage to my spinal cord.

I am going to be a good “Dann” because I do want to be able to walk someday.

But, damn, I miss walking my girls four times a day. I miss going outside. I miss sitting up.

I AM EXTREMELY GRATEFUL THAT I HAD ONE OF THE BEST SURGEONS IN WORLD AND THAT I CAN LOOK FORWARD TO BEING ABLE TO LIVE A SOMEWHAT NORMAL LIFE COME NEXT SUMMER