What’s Up With Vagina’s?

Obviously this is a topic most will avoid. Not the type of conversation males or females want to openly discuss.

I can’t help myself I have to stir the pot.

I believe that the invention of full body deodorant, such as Lume, may have been the catalyst of “The Great Coverup of  2024″.

This opened the door to an influx of feminine product commercials. (Most of which seem to air during the dinner hours.)

Years ago the invention of “wings” revolutionized the feminine sanitary napkin pad.

“With improved absorption.”

Women were relieved to know that the chance of “leaking” was greatly reduced.

Recently, just about all early evening, there are commercials introducing a new and improved pad that comes in far more sizes.  From small to extra large.

If the pad doesn’t suffice they have revolutionized the feminine diaper, also.

That’s right. Now you can laugh at the club and not have to leave embarrassed.

The newest addition to the saga of the vagina is a new type of moisturizing lubricant to “replenish” a women’s loss of natural vaginal moisturizers.

I have noticed that they have added a footnote in the ads for the whole body deodorant saying that it does not replace showering or bathing.

Unfortunately there are those who never read the fine print.

They slather their bodies with the product like an elephant taking a dirt bath.

From riding public transit I have discovered that the misuse of body deodorant has given birth to a brand new smell.

It emanates from cracks and crevices only your imagination can conjure up. 

My closest description would be ” an open can of sardines, a touch of Febreeze, mixed into the sweet smell of human urine and sweat”.

I do not ride the transit as much anymore.

There is something far worse mixed into the story.

It is “Mando”.

A male version of whole body deodorant.

Can you imagine what a man who thinks he never has to wash again will smell like by the end of September?

Lord help us all.

The oversized pads I fully understand. 

It is common sense.

Glance around.

We have created a society where the humongous butt is reigning supreme.

There still are some average size butts around.

Although not as many as there were before the onslaught of junk food invaded the female body.

I am of the belief that it has much to do with the fact that most women work in offices or jobs where they are stationary.

Their genetics are based on the age old  “motherhood”.

For millennia the female was the strong one. 

The one who kept the house and home running efficiently.

The “goto” person who rectifies all difficulties.

The matron who is awake at dawn and still working at dusk.

And then we made them sit down.

And their behinds grew bigger than their torsos.

Now big butts certainly outnumber their smaller sisters.

Us men have the “beer belly“.

We mastered that long before your butts grew.

I fully understand the need for replenishing moisturizers.

Menopause does tend to dry up the well.

Although in some cases, the well may have simply momentarily shut down because the magic has left the relationship.

The man’s sexy glance no longer makes her wet.

Rather it brings to her mind everything she despises about you and,  perhaps, you should investigate the rental of a bachelor pad.

Otherwise the invention of a better moisturizer is a good thing.

This is one of those things that dance around in my head until I decide to share them with you.

Those things that make you go,  “Hmmm”.

On a happier note, they now make a properly fitting bra for women with small breasts.  We are talking “A” and “B” cups.

So,  we got that …….