So, Again I Ask, Am I A Rasputin Incarnate?

12 times legally dead, then resuscitated and on life support.

That’s not counting all the times throughout my junkie lives where me mates had to give me a cold shower or ice bath to shock me back from being “One toke over the line, Sweet Jesus.”

Makes me “wonder how I keep from going under. “

But you know what?

To quote John Lennon, “What a long strange trip it’s been.”

If given the chance, I strongly doubt that I would change a thing.

Few have or ever will lead a life like the one fate dealt to me.

My life has been a Nantucket Sleigh Ride of one tragedy after another.

Starting with my birth.

Then abandonment by my Mother. 

My father putting me in the system. 

Or perhaps the 32 institutions and foster homes in my first ten years of life.

Maybe the heroin addiction that begun at ten years old as my Brother and his Hippie friends used me as a Guinea pig.

Perhaps it was my insanity.

That part of me that blew up the jail.

Or less than a year later got arrested with the 132 sticks of CIL dynamite. In the mall of Saint John City Hall.

I strongly doubt that it was anything to do with that sawed-off shotgun incident.

Perhaps it was because less than a year after I got out of the Federal Penitentiary, I had the Blessing to meet and get to know my Beloved Mother, Mary.

Maybe it was the tragic moment that I received the phone call from my Uncle Paul that, and I quote, “That fucking A-Bob just gutted your Mother with a boning knife.”

And “Poof! The Mother I waited 22 years to meet, was gone.

My first wife divorced me because apparently I changed after my Mother’s brutal murder.

I bounced back though!

The love of a good woman and her son changed “me” into “me“.

My best friend hung himself in 1986.

My older Brother hung himself in 1997.

My son, my Bubba, hung himself on Christmas morning 2019.

We do not rejoice during Christmas season anymore.

I shattered 4 neck vertebrae in 1999.

It changed my family’s lives.

Wife left me for our pot dealer in 2002.

I miss the pot dealer.

We are not together but we are still married.

Which really complicates my relationship with my girlfriend, the love of my life.

You know what though?

It is what it is.

Can’t change that!

So, with all the times that Death and I danced, yet here I stand.

“LightHouse Dann  – just as I am!”

Wondering if per chance I may be, “A Rasputin incarnate”, you see?