I look to the Heavens and I ask “Why?
Why am I outliving every person I know?
Is it to pay my penance for my past life choices?
Am I serving my time in Helheim now?
Is this the punishment I must endure before I cross through that door?
I lost my dearest friend and true Brother, Donnie LeBreton today to the demonic cancer.
I cannot say “Good-Bye Brother“.
I do not want to say those words.
I know that when this demonic cancer finally defeats me I shall see you on the other side. Beit Heaven or Hell, Valhalla or Helheim.
I sit here with tears running down my cheeks and pooling into a lake of sadness above my heart and I look to the sky and again I ask, “Why?”
I lost count of those I have buried. I no longer go to funerals. I have seen too many.
In my youth I made some very evil choices and I ran amuck through life.
You, my Brother, could always reign me in. And many a time you did.
There has never been a day in my 62 years that I have not thought about you and wished we lived closer.
I have guilt for not making more of an effort to keep in touch.
This will haunt me till my dying day.
I am sorry that I was too sick with my cancer to get down home and be with you.
I will be with you soon my Brother.
And I look forward to that day.
I have no regrets to leave behind except the sorrow my family and friends shall have.
I have paid my penance.
Today, November 27th, 2019, I shall cry. And then I shall cry some more.
Tomorrow, I will cry harder.
When my time is neigh please be at that door.
I will knock till you answer.
I love you my Brother.
I cannot and will not say,
“Good-bye”
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