Fo You Feel Life Has Been Fair To You?

 

“How I miss riding Old Yeller!”

Do you feel life has been fair to you?

We all have complaints and grievances.

The big question is are they “justified”?

My childhood was absolute Hell.

Yet I feel that my life has simply been exactly that – “life”. No different than many others has been.

I was bounced through thirty_two foster homes in my first ten years. Finally going to live with my father, stepmother and step brother and sister at ten years old.

However, I never felt like I belonged with them. I resented discovering that I had a father and family that lived a few miles from my last fosterhome but they never visited me until the last year.

At the age of twelve I was renited with my older brother when he returned from the famous “Woodstock Concert”.

Together we decided that the nomadic hippie life was our calling. So, he, 16 and I, 12 walked out of our so-called ‘parental’ home and joined the “Awarehouse” hippie commune.

The tribe kept me secure from the grasp of authority. Until I reached the age of 14 and could obtain a “Worker’s Permit’ and a “social insurance card”.

I spent a few years in the Commune. Making incense, doing LSD and becoming addicted to “Chasing the Dragon” (smoking heroin for those who are unfamiliar the term).

Then the wanderlust took hold. I spent a few years hitchhiking across Canada and throughout the States.

In today’s society you could never do such without getting abused or possibly murdered.

Times were different then.

People looked out for each other. Everything was shared. Music had meaning. Every song told a story or taught a life lesson.

I refer to it as “The Peace, Love and Hippie Dope” era of my life.

The drug addiction became rooted deep within me. A demon I would battle for the rest of my life.

Finally getting free of its horrid grasp only to become reliant upon prescribed opiates due to my past battle with liver cancer and the ongoing Squamous Cell Carcinoma and Orophalangeal Cancers.

A battle I am still battling to this very day.

In the past seven years I have lost one kidney, gallbladder, section of my bowels, third of my liver, and when my spleen exploded I literally bled out, died in the ambulance, was resuscitated and put on life support until a I regained my ability to breathe on my own.

Speaking of dropping dead, I have now been‘legally dead’ fourteen times in the last twenty years.

That fact is the main reason that I ceased practicing a “religion” and began believing and having “Faith”. They are not the same thing although many believe that they are.

Religions are nothing more than cults. Being religious is a learned practice whereas faith comes from the very essence of life.

When asked what religion I am I reply without hesitation “I am a ‘realist’.”

For existence is black and white. It is what it is.

The radical experimental radiation I signed up for in a human trial saved my life but at a cost. I have developed extremely advanced osteoporosis.

I have had 13 spinal surgeries so far. So many that I have been informed that further surgeries are out of the question.

I am now walking around, as painful as it is, with five fractured lumbar and two T section vertebrae. I am positive that I have done more damage when I fell off the office chair the day before my brain surgery last month.

I am officially labelled with having “chronic Cauda Equina”.

The brain surgery I just had was to repair the stent they implanted on June 11th, 2024 when I had the aneurysm. At the time I had gone temporarily blind and I now suffer from chronic mini-strokes.

I could go on and on about events in my life, such as my Mother’s s murder, my older brother’s suicide, my son’s suicide on Christmas morning 2019, my best friend’s suicide, the many friends and family lost to Fentanyl, the two times I have been shot – (the Biker years were rough) or my second wife running off with my pot dealer (I still miss him. He had great pot!), but I believe that you get my point that life is life.

There is not a single person on the planet that has not had rough periods in their lives.

The difference being is how they deal with the rough periods.

Ask yourself, “What difference is there between rough periods compared to the better periods.?”

End of the day they are merely periods of a life lived.

Soooooooo,

“Do you feel life has been fair to you?”