“Patient” I am. “Patience” I have not.

I refuse to allow nor accept the fact that at present my legs are becoming useless.

I still walk my girls at least once per day, even though I sit and cry tears of pain afterwards.

The pain I am in is beyond description!

1000 milligrams of M-Eslon morphine three times per day plus my breakthrough doses every two hours do little to quell it.

My right leg is the worse – I  have to drag it and put all my weight upon my cane.

I am scared but also confident that my care team, especially my nuerologist, Dr S. Suppiah who is one of the world’s highest ranked, will find the cause of what is happening to me.

I am positive that my chronic cauda equina and the seven fractured vertebrae in my lumbar are the cause.

I was told after my 13th spinal surgery that they cannot operate again due to the condition and degradation of my vertebra.

I refuse to give up.

I refuse to become permanently confined to a wheelchair.

I have faith in my team of doctors.

What is bothering me the greatest is not knowing why and what is happening to me.

Patience has never been my strongest trait.

“Patient” I am.

“Patience” I have not.