The Oddity of the Soap Opera Addiction

 “Like sand in your underwear, so are the days of my life.”

Have you ever noticed the Similarities between life and the socially addictive soap opera?

Those deja vu moments where you have to take a second look at the screen because you were sure you saw that segment before?

Leaving you wondering if the script writer somehow became aware of your personal life?

In my case I have become addicted to the world’s longest running soap opera, the British “Coronation Street”.

(Please stop laughing. I am being serious!)

Coronation Street is still in Season One. With the latest episode to air being number 11,716.

No other show on Earth has came close to such a successful first season.

Lord knows what Season Two will be like!

That is if it ever progresses from Season One to Season Two.

On top of my severe addiction to opiates due to my chronic pain, I have developed an even greater addiction to ‘Corrie Street’.

I am not sure how or why it has happened.

I blame it on retirement.

That’s when the addiction kicked in.

Almost as if my internal clock had a preset alarm set to ring when I turned 65.

The majority of soaps, particularly the American shows, are as phony as Donald Trump’s tan.

They could just as easily be classified as “comedies”.

However, the British shows do portray a far more realistic view of life.

Shows such as “Coronation Street, Downton Abbey, Midsummer Murders and the far too realistic Call the Midwife”.

The latter which changed my respect for women and childbirth.

Especially after watching episodes of the pregnancies portrayed in the time period of the show.

Trust me when I say that modern day childbirth, although a stressful, dangerous and bloody experience, is a cakewalk compared to post second world war birthing.

The conspiracy theorists claim that such shows are filled with ‘subliminal messages’ that create the addiction and encourage us to tune into the next episode.

I call “BS” on those theories!

Many of us do so willingly.

Demanding that everyone in our home remain silent, speaking only during the commercial breaks.

Failure to do so is punishable by delayed suppers, slamming of doors and name calling.

Even my beloved dogs, Pringles and Ruffles, remain motionless and silent when Corrie Street is on.

There lay no conspiracy. The addiction is fueled by human curiosity and our want for a better life.

Each new episode leave us wondering what will happen tomorrow.

Other episodes teach us that the rich are nothing more than manipulative criminals who would willingly destroy friends or family members to maintain their wealth and reputations.

I am unsure if I am in need of rehab.

Perhaps a Bugs Bunny/Roadrunner Marathon may bring me relief from the shame of soap opera addiction.

Time will tell.

Until then, remember I tell you this,

“Like sand in your underwear, so are the days of my life”.