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“Complete Walk With Dann”
“Volumes 1-4”
I am ‘LightHouse Dann Verner‘.
A man who some say has lived many tragic lives.
The first decade of my life I had lived in thirty-two homes. None of which I ever spoke the words, “Mom or Dad”. Only “Mister or Misses”.
I started my ‘Walks’ at the age of ten fighting the monsters in my head.
The demons were winning for many years.
I left my siblings Father’s house at the age of twelve to join a hippie commune and learned how to be a Heroin addict.
I have never slept in my father or mothers house since that day.
That was over fifty years ago.
Foster care, jails, pain, sorrow and addiction were my childhood friends.
My playgrounds were the streets.
My rocking horse a Harley Davidson motorcycle.
This is the autobiography of my life or lives, if you prefer.
Come, “Walk With Dann”.
***
Inclusive of my numerous blogs, essays, commentaries and, of course, my books.
As much as I am leery of Artificial Intelligence I have to admit that in this case the AI seems to have nailed the essence of “LightHouse Dann”.
(Writer’s note: Having no home computer I wrote my first four autobiographical books using my twelve year old Samsung cellphone.)
I write my books for me.
I tell my stories for my readers.
“I am not sure if my works are badly written good stories or well written bad stories.”
Not too sure I care either way.
I do care that, in my “Walk With Dann Collection”, I am telling my life as brutally truthful as possible.
In shame and in honour.
I do care that my ‘stand alone’ books, such as “The Last Canadian Cosmonaut” touch your heart.
I pray that my other collection, “Walking On Dawes”, shows that the gang life, although often ‘exciting’, leads only to karma biting your buttocks.
My writing immaturity is clear as day.
At the time I published these volumes, I did not consider myself to be an ‘author’.
I was not.
An author is schooled and has learned formats and expectations.
I was simply a ‘writer’.
A writer was me.
To be a professional ‘author’ was not a goal I achieved to be.
I wrote these books so people would see how I became ‘me’.
To repeat:
“A writer was me”
I merely wrote about whatever my thoughts were at that time.
That said, come “Walk With Dann” and discover who, what and why I am ‘me’……..
***
“DAMAGED”
Volume 1
“DAMAGED” is the first book I wrote.
“Damaged” takes you on your first “Walk With Dann”.
An in depth stroll from my birth till I meet my second wife.
It is rough, crude in fact.
Containing numerous format conversion errors.
As a testament to the honesty of my words and the true depiction of my life during that period I purposely left it unedited and “raw“.
It contains humour, murder, explosions and motorcycles. (Oh, I accidentally omitted “Love”)
You may believe it to be fictional or may even be non-fictional.
Perhaps you may believe it to be a blended mixture of both.
Trust in me, it is as real as real gets but the tragedy that was my path from birth forward may be far too tragic for most to believe as truth.
BELIEVE, THEREIN LIES TRUTH.
***
“BANE”
Volume 2
Looking me straight in the eyes this handsome young lad says,
“All my friends at daycare have Dad’s. Can you be my Dad? Can I call you ‘Dad’?“
“Bud, I would be honoured to be your Dad. You call me whatever you are comfortable with” was the only reply I could give.
And then I cried.
For I knew at that moment I just made a small heart beat happily and I had committed myself to a lifelong obligation to nurture and raise a son.
For at that moment I realized ….
“My boy had something I never knew existed as a child, he had a ‘Mom’ and a ‘Dad’.”
Forty-four years later I am still referred to as “Pops” by my ‘Number One Son’.
All these years later I still well up with tears when I reminisce of that beautiful day.
I was changed forever for I had no knowledge or guidelines as to what a father really was, yet there I was being a ‘Dad‘.
***
“BOON”
Volume 3
“BOON” walks you deep into my personal life of trials and tribulations and my uniquely twisted none the norm perception of reality as percieved within my reality.
***
“Unkz: A Canadian Cosmonaut”
Volume 4
PROLOGUE
There are deeply complicated thoughts that haunt you when you know well that you are insane.
Insane by their standards.
I believe that I am merely “Dann”.
Just a I am.
I am not like “others”.
I am not “Them”.
I am “Me”.
Yet, there are multiple “Me’s”.
They are all I can and should be.
As stated in my first work, “DAMAGED”, I am “Broken”.
Broken upon my birth.
Being broken has made me unique.
As in my autobiography you shall see.
Not the “Dann” you think I be.
***
“Walk With Dann Collection Volumes 1-2-3”
Volume 5
So as to keep the purchasing cost reasonable I combined my first three works into one volume.
(Actually I have placed this volume in my ‘Archives’ as I have since published “The Complete Walk With Dann Collection” which includes these three volumes plus more. It is still available for purchase via the archives.)
***
“Old Man With The ‘C’ – A Cancerous Walk With Dann”
(I originally began writing “Old Man With The ‘C’ pre-covid pandemic as a gratitude to all the Nurses, PSW’s and support staff, right down to and including the housekeeping staff at Princess Margaret Cancer Center, here in Toronto. For it was all of them who carried me through my battle with the cancer.)
It has been a whirlwind of tests. One after the other.
I learned at a very young age that nothing comes without a cost.
At 61 years old I was diagnosed with oropharyngeal and Squamous Cell Carcinoma.
I have documented my battle in real-time within the bindings of this book.
I have not followed a chronological order, as often it was necessary to reflect back to a previous surgery, procedure or situation or leap to present time.
Cancer is a dark infliction to say the least.
I attempt to keep negativity to a minimum, but, it was a difficult task due to the negativity side of Carcinoma.
The average person is unwilling to openly discuss the horrors that accompany cancer treatment. Often they misinterpret having cancer as somehow being a failure. Something that as a loved one or friend it is very difficult and disheartening to observe.
For the patient, it is a walk through Dante’s Inferno to say the least.
My battle was complicated by various and numerous other surgeries and traumas I have gone through these past two decades.
Inclusive of ‘Heart attacks, complete dissection and re-building of my C2 – C3 & C5 – C6 vertebrae, splenectomy, nine surgeries on my one remaining kidney and gall bladder removal’.
Add to all that the many more roadblocks I encountered on my way to recovery.
This volume tells a true story of what I have gone through both physically and psychologically wise.
I hold nothing back and readily offer up emotions.
Be them sad, happy, mad or whatever.
I do my best to show you the side of being a Cancer Warrior that not many others have published or even vocalized.
***
“The Last Canadian Cosmonaut”
(My first ‘stand alone’ work. One of my personal favourites.)
Where does a tale begins within?
Scholars would say between the covers of novels.
Not truth!
The tale begins within the confines of the mind.
Dancing in the after thoughts of that which has been read.
Stories stirred by questions raised from paragraphs penned.
If these pages leave one to reflect upon and draw newly discovered conclusions of what the writer’s thoughts and words have implanted within the hallways of the subconscious mind, then there lays the true birth of the tale.
This work is merely a Hippie on a Harley.
Following his nose as he travels, not only throughout his world, but also his universe.
Searching for answers found only in the Cosmos and on the lap of the Creators and all they have created.
I shall leave you to it.
Take what you may need from this vagabond’s journey.
Bearing in mind that there are no more remaining Canadian Cosmonauts.
They passed when disco music arrived.
And mankind forgot to continue dreaming.
***
“A Danny, Darkly”
This work is not like any of my previous publications.
It is a collection of short stories, roving ramblings, long thoughts, whimsical ideologies, serious banters, cryptic poetry and my opinionated opinions.
Each unique in their own ways.
Each a portrait of that moment in my time.
Subliminal messages may lay cloaked within serious insights of society as I perceive it to be.
My education was not obtained from the hallowed halls of a prestigious house of knowledge.
I attended the schools of life and the universities of the unseen society.
I received my Master’s Degree from government funded fortresses of incarceration.
My childhood rocking horse was a Harley Davidson.
My playground the surreal mazes of dark metropolitan alleys and laneways.
My mind a constant swirling vortex of questions asking questions regarding life’s unquestionable questions .
My cerebral cortex a digital storage vault of lessons learned, happiness gained, sadness drained and future hopes.
Each paragraph that follows is written in truth and with genuine emotion.
They are in no particular order.
Many will contain deep thoughts whereas others may simply be thoughts from a damaged mind.
Even if performed with emotion and passion, it will come across as a product of an author.
A transcript based on schooled rules and regulations.
That’s certainly not who I am.
I am definitely not what the majority would label as an “author”.
(Thankfully! For I am one hundred percent confident that, at best, I am an amateur author. Just saying.)
I identify as a “writer”.
A writer I be.
“A Danny, Darkly”
Dark as the Light within me.
***
“Walking On Dawes Trio”
This is the three volumes of my “Walking On Dawes Collection”.
“I Want To Be Floki”
“You Can’t See Me”
“6315 – The Original Urban Viking”
In this series I attempt to show how ganglife, although some see as “exciting” , always ends with Karma biting your buttocks.
“I Want To Be Floki” portrays a family of inner city youth growing up in the projects and doing what they must to just survive.
“You Can’t See Me” portrays a man who has regrets.
Numerous regrets accompanied with guilt.
A man who wants out.
“6315 – The Original Urban Viking” is, in my opinion, my best work to date.
With time and experience I have begun to find my comfort spot in writing.
“6315” is an around the world adventure.
I will say no more ……..
***
“I Want To Be Floki”
This is a tale of a family who live their lives within the gang life.
Except “Little Ray”.
He and his family want him to break the cycle and live a normal life.
There is tragedy, laughter and most of all ‘insight‘ within the Dawes Road community..
So come with us as we …
“Walk On Dawes.”
***
“You Can’t See Me”
This is a portrait of a broken man living a broken life in a broken world where family and friendship are one and the same.
Where wrong choices can lead to lifelong regrets.
Haunting the very soul and stabbing the heart daily to remind you of the penalties of actions.
Where a man can be all alone and un-noticed in a crowded room.
Where sadness shadows joy and joy masks sadness.
This is the life of one man on one street in one city.
A man who let his darkness blind his Light.
Come, Walk on Dawes Road and trace his steps.
But don’t follow his path!
***
“6315 – The Original Urban Viking”
Life can be unfair.
It can be brutal.
Especially for an inner city young man growing up in the projects.
This is a tale of such a man.
A man who walked many paths.
Who made choices – good and bad.
Who experienced love, hate, joy and sadness and bears the scars to show their result.
A man who chose the path of gang life over grade school classes.
A man who’s rocking horse was a Harley Davidson.
His playground was the streets.
His graduation was held in a Federal Penitentiary.
A man who found remorse and regrets haunting him throughout his adulthood.
A man who wanted out.
Badly.
A man who wished for peace in his soul and calmness in his heart.
His name, “6315 – The Original Urban Viking”
***
“METANOIA”
“Volume 1”
Metanoia…. “Change in one’s way of life resulting from penitence or spiritual conversion.”
“The journey of changing one’s mind, self, heart or way of life”.
“Spiritual Conversation.”
The depression coined the derogatory phrase, “Wrong side of the tracks”.
Referring to the shanty towns built by migrant workers, homeless and vagabonds.
Derogatory in every sense.
A statement saying that the down and out, the worker who will travel thousands of miles to pick your pickles and the nomads of society are of lessor being then you are.
It was a sign of the times.
The late fifties and early sixties showed us two sides of life.
The Peace and Love of the Hippies and Environmentalists was the sensible choice.
Unfortunately, it was greatly ignored.
It was a time of man that was filled with prejudice, misinformed people and the confusion of a fast changing world.
The second side is one of shame.
Fueled by hatred and racism.
Brought shamefully to the surface of all media by the assassination of Martin Luther King and JFK.
I grew up on the wrong side of those tracks.
Literally.
I am honoured to have been raised there.
For I am a realist in every sense of the definition.
Mind you, the other side of those tracks were only twelve feet away and looked the same as my street.
***
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