Two Steps Forward, Uber Back

 Sometimes I sit.

Sometimes I wonder.

Sometimes I sit and wonder.

Anytime I sit, it’s to wonder.

Other times I wonder why I sit.

Do you ever wonder as you sit?

Do you ever just sit to wonder?

Circumstance suggests we ‘wonder’ in excess.

The high number of people with a 54 inch waist is evidence enough that we ‘sit’ in excess.

I often wonder if the diet of the average North American responsible for the high amount of people whose body’s are proportionally malformed

You must know the people I am talking about.

They are everywhere.

They are easily identified by their upper torso being a size “5 Petite”

and their lower half being a size “54 Ultra King”.

All humour and rudeness aside, there are a significant amount of people who are struggling with this form of obesity.

There must be a scientific consensus with an explanation of what the root cause of it to be.

“I believe there are two main culprit’s at play here.”

The first being the eating habits of the average North American.

The second being the lifestyle of this “Modern, highly technological ‘New–Age’ Society” we have created.

The diet of the average person is proportionate to their personal wealth.

The richer the eater the healthier their bodies.

The opposite for the poorer soul.

The poorer they are the unhealthier their bodies.

The people in the middle between richness and poverty, the “Middle Class” are consuming the largest amounts of fast and/or take-out foods.

BUT THIS IS NOT NECESSARILY A POSITIVE ……..IN FACT IT IS A ‘NEGATORY’

Their lower extremities are stationary the majority of the time.

Their butts prisoners to their chair and their eyes and ears captives of their screens.

“Media Zombies”

From the waste up they are fairly active with all the bending, twisting, rocking, etc. while playing their games or interacting with their screens.

“LOOK OUT DOWN BELOW!!!”

Below their waistbands is a completely different story. An unhealthy routine of routineless disciplines.

The only energy expelled below the belly button is the squirming from having “numb bum” or the tilting to one side to allow the expulsion of “flatulence”.

All that “Fast Food” goes, as quickly as it can, directly to the buttocks.

There your love handles become ‘Elephant Ears’.

Your kneecaps disappear from sight as all the saturated, unsaturated, adulterated, grimy, greasy morsels of fat you have ever consumed, lay stunted into docile pools of obesity.

WHICH MAKES ME SIT AND MAKES ME WONDER,

“WHAT WILL WE LOOK LIKE A CENTURY FROM NOW?”

“WILL WE BE SHAPED LIKE WEEBLES?”

We would be safe for sure, because,

‘WEEBLES WOBBLE, BUT THEY DON’T FALL DOWN’

So, Campers, I shall bid you good night!

Time for this UrbanViking to sit and wonder.

Wondering while Compilations of pictures of tomorrow cause the forehead to furl.

“GOOD EVENING CAMPERS!”